dollar bills, pain , reality..... bitches you want to know.

in this world of materialism one simply cannot run from the truth. money is happiness. being someone who comes from a middle income family an extra twenty ringgit a week gives me boundless pleasures but to some  , a twenty barely scratches an itch. money is undeniably important and to live well you need a steady income. currently, i do not have one, i have never felt at liberty in spending and nor shall i in the near future, unless bapak becomes a minister after the elections and i'm suddenly shoved into a prepy varsity whereby upon graduation i'd be earning comfortably, alas that is not so, i study in UiTM the last bastion of the Malays, it doesn't even resemble a campus, its just one in name. out of foolishness and stupidity thats where i find myself, and not in some posh varsity, be it local or overseas, yet i have strongly opposed the idea of fleeing this great land and migrating abroad, some factors have compelled me to think about it. people change, they get older they learn through experience and they feel very differently about certain things. i however have not, i am still this hopeless romantic who thinks that poetic justice will prevail, apparently it doesn't neither does karma, thats just bullshit to make you feel better, i have learned that justice or fairness only prevails to those who have a heart and understands that every action has a reaction. not just in physics but in real life as well. so who cares if you've cried in a car in the middle of the road clad in a baju melayu, who cares if you felt dissapointed, who cares if you feel betrayed, nobody in the end... Ian Fleming is a genius in some respects as he portrays 007 as a perfect gentleman to me. ruthless yet mindful, something i want to adopt. because in the end no matter how much pain you feel, no matter how many tears you cry, no matter how many pieces your heart has been shredded the truth is, its all in your head. there are choices, see things dispassionately and objectively, never assume that self worth is what others think of you, it is what you have inside you.....