Confused at the crossroads.

it does't take long for you to realise that you are not where you want to be. What i mean is, you wouldn't have envisaged where you are now when you were say, 7. At  7 the world seemed unfair. Sleeping at 9.30 pm every night. Not being able to pick your own Mc Donald's meal and yes grudgingly wearing shorts to school. Personally i don't think that i have learned a lot from my past. i court trouble. i dig my own grave. well mistakes are a norm in a young adult's life yet i have failed myself more times than i have made good. Somehow it is difficult to go on and hold your head up high and participate in society. The "what the fuck" attitude can bail you out so many times, one day you will fuck yourself and just break down and cry. My father has always instilled a never say die attitude, yet he never did explain the intricacies of never giving up. where do you say, "stop"? where do you say "go on"? well being the cynic that he is i guess I've got to figure that out for myself. make my own mistakes, pick myself up, and learn. Foolish? yes. i am a foolish person. yet i never can see that and pull the brakes till i'm too late. at 21 i'm still as jumpy and insecure when i was 7. "what is so special about you" ? Nothing. I'm just a boring grumpy sod.